How to help a new mom (beyond holding the baby)

by Katy Huie Harrison, PhD

07/05/2023

Having JUST gotten through the foggiest early newborn days (still foggy, though, let's be real), there are some things I want to remember--and want you to know so you can be the best support person possible.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Don't just hold the baby so mom can get different work done. Let her rest and do the work for her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Her mental to-do list is so long it's dizzying, but she's probably too tired to articulate any of it to you
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Her personal care has likely fallen by the wayside
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. She'll appreciate you holding the baby, but she'll remember everyone who did more forever
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let me tell you about #4
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤍Emily cooked, did my dishes & laundry, and emptied my trash.
🤍Mary Katherine held my baby so Husband and I could eat dinner at the same time.
🤍Ramsey took my older son to the playground to give me a break.
🤍Rebekah washed my pump parts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And tons of people brought me meals.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ask my in 20 years, and I'll remember.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some of these people helped when I had my first living child. Some helped when I had my second. Some helped when I lost pregnancies. Some helped every single time.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And it was such a big deal that I will always remember.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you ask a new mom how you can help, she won't know what to tell you. But if you do one of these things, I promise you, she'll be so grateful that she'll always remember.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What was the best thing someone did to help you?