At every birth i do these 5 things on arrival

by Kelli Brus

10/03/2023

 recently met with a new doula and at the end of our session, she asked “How do you know what to do when you get to a birth?” It took me back to my days as a new doula when I had the exact same question. It probably took at least 15 births before I felt confident in showing up to a birth without being nervous about knowing what to do when I arrived.

Whenever I walk into a birth space, I never know exactly what I’m walking into. Someone may be very comfortable and chatty, someone may be extremely focused and inward, someone may be really struggling with coping and need immediate emotional and/or physical guidance. And in a few cases, some have been holding a very fresh baby in their arms!

In the first few minutes of being with a client, I’m usually doing these 5 things, somewhat simultaneously. I’m assessing the room environment- the temperature, the lighting, the energy; the frequency and strength of contractions; the position my client is in. I’m getting down on my client’s level and matching their mood, validating their feelings. I’m asking about what’s been helpful, when is the last time they emptied their bladder, has the partner eaten recently, how do they feel about their nurse and the provider on call. I’m thinking back on our prenatal sessions and my client’s top goals and preferences for this birth experience. I’m listening as my client describes the sensations in their body and thinking ahead toward the next position or comfort measure that will bring progress. I’m introducing myself to the staff and valuing their thoughts and experience. I’m hopefully bringing some reassurance to the partner about how things are going and what happens next.

I kept this new doula on our call for at least 10 minutes past our allotted time as I went through these steps. I asked at some point, “are you with me, is this helpful?” And she said, “oh my gosh, so so helpful. THIS is what I needed in my doula training!” Whether this can be taught or whether a doula has to gain the experience through attending births, I don’t exactly know. But thought I’d share with you all in case it’s helpful for you!